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Episode 6 – Soldier of Fortune  
Jeff: (Narrating) Previously on Survivor: 
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After a tense Tribal Council, Lauren went on a witch hunt to find who voted for her.  Scott and Jonny fessed up, and felt Lauren's wrath.  At Velasquez, Stone and Mike were feeling vulnerable.  The Reward Challenge involved throwing rings onto poles attached to remote controlled boats.  The three players with the worst records on each tribe were swapped to the other tribe.  The new Denson, consisting of Jake, Mary Lou, Nikki, Joe, Nate, and Scott, claimed their prize of four chickens.  At the new Velasquez, Jonny and Matt discussed their future amidst three alliances.  Mike attempted to bond with Lauren, while Stone bored Mary.  The Immunity Challenge was a mine cart relay race.  Velasquez, the slightly stronger team, won immunity.  Nate and Scott tried to sway Jake to vote with them, but in the end Jake stuck with his alliance and voted out Nate. 
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11 remain.  Tonight, one more will go.  
Theme Song  
Denson
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 (Dawn at Camp Denson.  Mary Lou and Joe make breakfast and chat)
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Mary Lou:  I always feel just terrible after Tribal Council. 
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Joe:  Oh Mom, I know.  I really liked Nathan. 
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Mary Lou: He seemed to be a nice boy. 
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Joe:  Oh, the nicest!  But he was too big a physical threat. 
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Mary Lou:  Now I'm not sure I understand that.  Don't we want our team to be strong? 
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Joe:  Well, yes.  But once the two teams merge, we're going to play for individual immunity.  So the strong ones like Nathan would have the advantage. 
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Mary Lou:  Oh dear… 
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(Scott walks up the campfire with Les Sachs the Dog)
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Joe:  Well, hello there!  You're up early! 
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Scott: (hoarse) Yeah, I didn't sleep much. 
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(Joe and Mary Lou exchange knowing glances)
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Scott: (Narrating) Tribal Council?  They voted Nate off.  I was starting to like him, – even though he had premarital sex – but there's not much I can do about it.  They'll vote me off next, I guess. 
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(Nikki walks out and joins the rest of the tribe at the campfire)
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Nikki:  What's for breakfast?  Are we having sausage gravy?  Or maybe french toast? 
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Mary Lou: (Smiling) No… Not even an egg. 
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(Cut to a shot of the chickens)
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Nikki: If those chickens don't start laying soon, they're gonna find their heads on the chopping block.  (Pauses) No offense, Scott. 
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(Shot of the chicken squacking.  Cut to an overhead shot of Camp Velasquez)  
Velasquez

Mary: (Narrating) This started out as a peaceful morning, but that didn't last long.  Matt and Jonny were having a conversation, and I decided to join them. 
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(Matt and Jonny sit by the hut)
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Jonny:  Come on!  Say it! 
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Matt: (trucker voice) Break for a truck, come on. 
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(Jonny laughs.  Mary approaches)
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Mary:  Hey, what's so funny? 
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Jonny:  Matt's trucker voice. 
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Mary:  Oh yeah!  Remember when we were talking to that truck driver? 
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Jonny: Stony? 
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Mary:  Yeah. 
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Jonny:  That guy was an idiot. 
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 (Lauren approaches Mary, Matt, and Jonny)
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Lauren:  Why are you talking to these losers, Mary? 
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Matt:  You're the loser. 
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Lauren: (Ignoring Matt) I thought I told you to stay away from them, Mary. 
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Mary:  You can't tell me who I can talk to. 
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Lauren:  Oh yes I can.  Do you want to be a loser?  Or do you want to be cool?  These losers aren't worth your time.  Come on.  We'll go sunbathing together. 
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Mary:  Um, why don't you go?  I'll catch up. 
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Lauren: (Narrating) I feel that my hold on Mary is beginning to slip, and I don't like that.  If she begins to develop a mind of her own, I will have no problems with cutting her off.  No one f***s with me. 
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(Mary continues talking to Jonny and Matt.  Lauren seethes in the distance)  
Denson
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(Cut to the hut.  Jake sleeps)
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Mary Lou: (Narrating) Well, we've been having some problems getting Jake up in the morning. 
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Nikki: (Narrating) Jake?  Yeah, he sure does sleep a lot. 
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(Scott and Les Sachs watch Jake sleep)
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Scott: (To the camera) Watch this.  Sic'im, boy! 
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(Scott pushes Les Sachs towards Jake.  The dog falls clumsily on him.
Jake awakes with a start.  He frantically pushes the dog off)
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Jake:  Stupid dog! 
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(Scott's laughing at him all the while)
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Scott:  Ha ha ha!  You should've seen the look on your face, man! 
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Jake:  Dude!  You don't mess with people when they sleep! 
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(Scott continues laughing.  Cut to a helicopter shot of the Missouri wilderness) 
Velasquez
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(Stone and Mike go for Tree Mail)
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Stone:  So you're sure Lauren's with us? 
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Mike:  S*** yes, man!  Lauren and I go way back. 
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Stone:  OK, let's see what it is…  (Reading) We had one first season 
                                                                      But then we forgot 
                                                                      Guess it’s a case 
                                                                      Of temp’ry brain rot 
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                                                                      If your aim is true 
                                                                      A great prize awaits 
                                                                      The winners take all 
                                                                      The losers suck bait 
Suck bait?  What does that mean? 
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Mike:  I don’t know.  Maybe they couldn’t think of a rhyme.  
Reward Challenge – 2nd Annual Survivor Shootout  
(Closeup shots of several targets.  Jeff awaits the arrival of the Survivors)
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Jeff: What’s up guys?  Today, we’re playing for reward.  How hungry are you guys? 
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(The Survivors murmur)
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Jeff:  Today’s reward is a good one.  The winners are going to be treated to a real Missouri tradition: an old-fashioned Midwest steak dinner.  You got your charbroiled steak, a nice salad, and a baked potato with lots of butter.  Sound good? 
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(Various yes’s)
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Jeff:  OK, here’s the challenge:  Season 2 came around and we sort of forgot that we’d had a 1st Annual Survivor shootout.  And then we kind of forgot in Survivors 3, and 4.  Well, this is your lucky day, because someone finally looked over the Survivor One tapes and remembered this thing. 
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The first round, you’ll be using slingshots.  In the second round, you’ll move on to bows and arrows.  The final round, which is most important, is guns.  You’ll need to choose someone to represent your tribe in each round. 
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(The tribes confer.  For the first round, Denson sends up Nikki and Velasquez sends up Mike.
They’re equipped with slingshots and positioned behind a red line.  Several targets are set up at varying distances)
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Jeff:  Each target you hit is worth a point.  Nikki, you’ll be shooting purple paintballs.   Mike, your paintballs are green.  You’ll both have ten shots.  Survivors ready?  (Doing the arm thing) Go! 
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(Nikki and Mike line up their shots and fire.  Mike hits a target, Nikki misses.
Both reload and shoot again.  This time, Nikki nails one of the nearby targets.  Mike misses his shot)
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Mike: D*** it! 
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(Nikki aims for another nearby target and hits it.  Mike nails his shot, too.  Both reload, fire, and miss.  During the next barrage, both hit a target.  They continue to reload and fire until both have used up all ten of their paintballs) 
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Jeff:  Nikki, you hit 3 targets.  Mike, you hit 5.  Velasquez is up, but we’ve still got two rounds to go.  Who’s up next? 
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(Denson sends up Scott.  Velasquez sends Stone.  They’re given bows and quivers)
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Jeff:  Again, each target is worth a point.  If you score a bullseye, that’s triple value. Scott, your arrows have the purple feathers.  Stone, yours are green.  Best of ten again. 
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(Scott lines up his shot and lets his arrow fly.  It hits the edge of a target.
Stone also manages to hit a target.  They reload and go again.  This time,
Scott misses and Stone hits.  As they reload, Scott starts to grin mischievously.
As Stone prepares to fire, Scott trills loudly.  It completely screws up
Stone’s shot.  Scott fires an arrow and hits a target.  He whoops loudly at Stone)
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Stone: (To Jeff) Can you shut him up? 
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Jeff:  (Shaking his head) Psyching your opponent out is fair game. 
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(Scott and Stone reload and prepare for the next shot.  Stone yells
as Scott fires, but Scott is unscathed.  His shot is a bullseye)

Scott:  Ha ha, sucka! 
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(Stone grumbles something under his breath and reloads.  They fire again.  This time, Stone
scores a bullseye and Scott misses completely.  There’s a quick montage for the rest of their shots)
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Jeff:  OK.  Scott, you scored 10 points that round.  Stone, you scored 8.  Totals are Denson – 13, Velasquez – 11.  Moving into the final round. 
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(Denson sends Joe to shoot.  Velasquez sends Matt)
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Jeff:  Final Round.  You’re using paintball guns.  The targets are marked with different point values according to difficulty.  Hit one of those moving targets in the back, and you get twenty points.  Still anyone’s game.  15 shots this time. 
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(Matt and Joe line up their shots.  Joe hits a 2 pointer near the front.  Matt aims
for the moving targets in the back and misses.  Joe hits a 4 pointer, Matt
misses his shot again.  Both miss, then Joe nails another 2 pointer.  Matt hasn’t hit a shot yet)
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Lauren:  I thought you were good at this, Matt! 
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Matt:  Shut up and read the news. 
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(The next round, Joe hits a five pointer about half way back.  Matt, however,
finally hits a twenty pointer.  The next round, he hits another.  Velasquez cheers him on)
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Jonny:  Way to go, big Matt! 
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(Joe starts aiming for the back targets.  He misses, and Matt pegs
a 10 pointer.  Cut to montage mode.  Matt nails shot after shot, Joe doesn’t.)
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Jeff:  OK.  Could’ve been close, but it wasn’t.  Matt scored a whopping 82 points.  I think it’s clear who the winner is.  Velasquez, your dinner awaits. 
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(Velasquez gathers around Matt, high fiving him.  Jeff shows them
to a table off to the side of the shoot out.  Denson walks away in defeat.)
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Jake:  Good job, Matt. 
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Matt:  Thanks, man. 
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(After Denson leaves, Jeff starts bringing out steak dinners.  Matt’s served first.  He digs in voraciously.  Shots of Jonny and Mary nodding at Matt while chewing, Stone and Mike laughing as they eat, Lauren picking at her steak)   
Velasquez
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Matt: (Narrating) The challenge today was cool.  Got to use a gun! (Matt pulls his arm back in a “yes” motion) And we won a steak dinner.  It was good. 
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Mike: (Narrating) I bet Matt feels real f***ing good about his position in the tribe now.  This doesn’t change anything.  Me and Stone are still voting him out first chance we get.  He’d just better hope we win Immunity tomorrow. 
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(Matt and Jonny sit off by themselves.  Matt pats his stomach in satisfaction.  Mary approaches them)
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Mary:  Hey, good job today, Matt. 
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Matt:  Thanks, Mary. 
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Mary:  So, guys, I’ve been thinking… 
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Jonny:  Really? 
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Mary:  Shut up.  But really, I was thinking about strategy.  If you guys want, we could form an FBC alliance. 
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(Jonny and Matt look thoughtful)
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Jonny:  The three of us? 
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Mary:  Yeah. 
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Jonny: What do you think, big Matt? 
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Matt:  I say yes. 
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Jonny:  OK.  We’re an alliance, then. 
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Mary:  Great! 
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(Zoom in on the background, where Lauren’s watching)
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Lauren: (Narrating) When I saw Mary join up with the guys, I just got really p***ed off.  I said, “F*** her.  I’ll just go to Mike and Mr. Stone.” 
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(Lauren approaches Mike and Stone)

Lauren:  OK.  You two are my alliance now. 
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Mike: (Giving Stone a smug glance) Really? 
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Lauren:  Yes, but don’t you get any ideas.  We’re just voting together. 
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Mike: (lecherously) Sure. 
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Mike: (Narrating) I knew it, man!  She wants my body. 
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Stone: (Narrating) To tell the truth, I think that Mike suffers from delusions of grandeur.  It’s pretty obvious Lauren’s not interested in him. 
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(Shot of Mike putting his arm around Lauren’s waist.  She slaps it off)
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Mike: (Narrating) No woman can resist the stud. 
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Lauren: (Narrating) I find Mike to be… repulsive. 
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(Filler shot of a rabbit chasing another rabbit.  Shot of the sun setting)   
Denson
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(Jake and Scott sit by the fire)
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Jake:  So they won a steak dinner.  Who cares?  We’re having chicken! 
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Scott:  I’d prefer steak, dude. 
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Jake:  Eh, what do you know? 
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(Joe grabs a chicken from the pen as Mary Lou and Nikki watch)
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Joe:  All right, who wants to hold him down? 
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Mary Lou:  Oh dear!  Not me!  I’ll cook it, but I’m not touching it. 
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Nikki:  I got your back, Mary Lou.  Let me see it. 
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(Joe hands Nikki the chicken.  Grasping both of its legs in one hand, she forces its head down onto a log)
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Joe:  OK, hold it still now. 
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Nikki:  Hurry up, then! 
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(Joe swings back his hatchet to behead the chicken.  Cut to a closeup of Mary Lou)
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Mary Lou:  Oh my! 
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(Cut to Mary Lou putting the plucked chicken into the rice pot)
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Nikki:  We having arroz con pollo? 
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Mary Lou:  Arrows cone what? 
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Nikki:  Arroz con pollo.  You know, chicken and rice. 
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Mary Lou:  Oh!  Yes, we are. 
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Jake: (Narrating) Hey PETA, we slaughtered an innocent chicken!  Get over it! 
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(Shots of Denson eating.  Scott feeds bones to Les Sachs.  Pan up to the stars.  Segue to dawn)   
Velasquez
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(Matt and Jonny go for Tree Mail)
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Jonny:  Hey, the Tree Mail tree here looks like that tree in Time Wasters. 
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Matt:  (Smiling and nodding) Time Wasters. 
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(Jonny pulls out the mail)
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Jonny: (Reading) Your tribe’s mighty strong 
                           The advantage is yours 
                           And we can’t have that, 
                           Can we, ya boors? 
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                           Subjectivity is 
                           The name of the game 
                           Build a distress signal 
                           That’s not really lame 
Great.  It’s the distress signal challenge.  I wonder who’s gonna win this? 
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Matt:  Who is gonna win it? 
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Jonny:  They are.   
Denson
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(Scott and Jake are reading the tree mail)
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Jake:   (Reading) Their tribe’s mighty strong 
                          The advantage is theirs 
                          But we won’t hear of it 
                          Because we care 
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                          Subjectivity is 
                          The name of the game 
                          Build a distress signal 
                          That’s not really lame 
Huh.  They’re giving us a freebee.  Looks like you’re safe till the merge, man. 
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Scott:  Cool.   
Immunity Challenge – Distress Signal Manipulation   
Velasquez
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(Velasquez stands around trying to decide what kind of distress signal to build)
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Jonny:  We need something with color and motion. 
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Lauren:  I could teach us a cheer.  That has a lot of motion. 
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Matt:  Um… no. 
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Stone:  What we need to do here is apply some artistic principles.  What’s going to make this distress signal interesting?  The human eye is naturally pleased by repetition, but variation causes interest. 
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Matt:  What are you talking about? 
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Stone:  We’re going to need a repeating motif with some slight variations.  That’ll draw the pilot’s eye to our camp. 
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Mary:  Why don’t we just make a big arrow out of logs? 
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(Everyone agrees to this, leaving Stone standing by himself) 
Denson
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Jake:  What’s always won this challenge has been color and motion.  I say we lay all of our colorful clothes into a circular pattern, then run around to attract attention. 
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Scott:  You know what would be funny?  If we shot the rescue plane down. 
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Jake:  How would we even do that, man? 
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Scott:  I took the paintball gun from the challenge yesterday. 
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Nikki:  Scott! 
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(Cut to a shot of a plane.  Inside, Jeff wears a headset)
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Jeff:  I’m here in this forest service rescue plane.  Here beside me is Larry, he’s an experienced drop master.  He’s flown several rescue missions, and he knows what makes a good distress signal.  Our pilot Fred is also experienced in rescue flights.  Whichever tribe’s signal these two think to be superior will win immunity. 
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(The plane flies over Velasquez.  Their signal is, as promised, an arrow made of logs.
Everyone except Stone stands around it and waves.  Stone sits off under a tree scowling)
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Jeff:  OK, we’ve seen Velasquez’s signal.  Now we’ll sweep by Denson. 
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(On the ground, Denson runs around waving their arms in a circle of bright cloth.  Scott runs out of the hut screaming, paintball gun in hand.  He fires at the rescue plane.  A couple of paintballs splatter on the cockpit.  The pilot gasps)
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Jeff:  OK, I’ve talked to the pilot and the drop master, and they both agree.  Although Velasquez had good use of movement, their wooden arrow blended in too easily with the surrounding terrain.  Denson, with their brightly colored circle, movement, and munitions is the clear winner.  We’ll drop this crate with the immunity idol on them now. 
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(The plane circles back over Camp Denson and Jeff pushes out a crate.  A parachute opens, and it drifts down beside the camp.  The Densons run and open it.  Inside is the Immunity Idol.  Far away, Velasquez observes the drop)
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Mary:  It’s over.  They won. 

Jonny:  What a surprise. 

(Shots of Denson celebebrating their immunity)   

Velasquez
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(It’s the next day.  Tribal Council looms.  Lauren, Stone, and Mike discuss strategy)
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Lauren:  OK, so we’re voting out Matt, then? 
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Stone:  He’s the strongest. 
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Mike:  Plus, he’s a f***ing retard, man!  I’ll be glad to be rid of him. 
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Lauren:  So who will they target? 
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Stone:  It’s going to be one of you two. 
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Lauren: (Narrating) I was discussing strategy with Mike and Mr. Stone earlier.  We came to the conclusion that Tribal Council’s going to be a 3 –3 tie.  In the case of a tie, the person with more previous votes goes.  I have four previous votes, and as far as I know, none of them have previous votes.  That means that unless I take drastic action, I’m going tonight. 
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(Matt, Jonny, and Mary are talking amongst themselves.  Lauren approaches them)
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Matt:  What do you want? 
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Lauren:  I’m here to make a deal with you guys. 
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Jonny:  What kind of deal? 
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Lauren:  Look, I’m not stupid.  If we go to Tribal Council with two alliances of three, we tie and I go from previous votes. 
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Jonny:  That’s the plan. 
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Lauren:  I have a proposal.  Say that you guys don’t vote me out. 
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Matt:  Yeah, right. 
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Lauren:  Hear me out.  We merge after this Tribal Council. Immunity becomes individual, right? 
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Jonny:  Yeah. 
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Lauren:  I’m no threat for individual immunity.  But Mike is.  A strong young man like that?  He’s going to be hard to beat.  But if I joined up with you guys, we could vote out Mike before the merge.  Once we merge, you guys can vote me out whenever you feel like it. 
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(Jonny, Matt, and Mary confer)
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Jonny:  We’ll think about it. 
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Lauren: (Narrating) I don’t like not being in control.  I don’t know how this will go tonight.   
Tribal Council # 6   
(The Survivors enter Tribal Council, where Jeff is waiting)
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Jeff:  Welcome.  This is the first time I’ve seen this particular arrangement.  Mr. Stone, tell me about the dynamics of your new tribe. 
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Stone:  Well, we’re a very dynamic tribe, Jeff.  There are two, um, factions at work here.  Tonight, we’ll see which faction is stronger. 
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Jeff:  Lauren, Mr. Stone mentioned two factions.  Do you define yourself as a member of a particular faction? 
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Lauren:  Jeff, this game can change at any time.  I don’t think you can really label yourself as being completely loyal to one group of people. 
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Jeff:  Jonny.  Loyalty, how important is it to you? 
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Jonny:  Loyalty is very important to me.  If I make an alliance with someone, I expect them to keep it until the bitter end. 
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Jeff:  Matt?  Do you agree with Jonny’s theory?  Are alliances until the bitter end, or do they break up when they’re no longer convenient? 
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Matt:  If I give someone my word, I won’t break it. 
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Jeff:  One last question.  Mike, how pivotal is tonight’s vote? 
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Mike:  Oh, I think it’s very pivotal.  The course of the game could change tonight. 
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Jeff:  OK, it’s time to vote. Jonny, you’re up first. 
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(Jonny goes to vote.  We don’t see it)
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Jonny:  All I can say is, good riddance. 
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(Mary’s next, followed by Matt.  We don’t see their votes.  Lauren is next.  She votes for Mike)
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Lauren:  I’d like to say this is purely strategic, but I’d like to see this slimeball go anyway.  Here’s hoping I last another three days. 
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(Stone’s up next.  We don’t see his vote.  Mike votes last.  He votes for Matt)
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Mike:  I’ve never liked you.  S*** like you doesn’t deserve to be a part of this game. 
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(Mike returns)
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Jeff:  I’ll go tally the votes. 
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(Jeff leaves and returns with the voting canister)
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Jeff:  Once the votes are read, the person will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately.  First vote:  Matt 
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Mike 
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One vote Matt, one vote Mike. 
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Matt 
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Mike 
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Mike 
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And the final vote, Mike. 
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Mike:  S*** no! 
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Jeff:  Mike, I need you to bring me your torch. 
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Mike:  Oh, bulls***! 
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(Mike brings Jeff his torch)
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Jeff:  Mike, the tribe has spoken.  It’s time for you to go. 
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(Jeff snuffs Mike’s torch)
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Jeff:  Well, Mike said it best.  Tonight’s vote could be pivotal to the game.  Tomorrow, you merge.  I’ll let you guys get back to camp. 
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(The Survivors exit)   
Mike’s Final Words:  Aw, bulls***, man.  I can’t believe Lauren turned on me.  F***ing b****.  (Mike begins to cry) D***, I come out here, I play my hardest, and they still vote me out.  F***ing d***s.  (Blubbering)  This is s***, man!   
Voting Record:
Jonny - Mike
Mary - Mike
Matt - Mike
Lauren - Mike
Stone - Matt
Mike - Matt  
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