Survivor Missouri - Episode 9

Episode 9 – Date with Destiny

Jeff: (Narrating) Previously on Survivor
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After Tribal Council, Jake had to face the wrath of Joe and Mary Lou. While Jake bonded with his new alliance, Stone bonded with Mary Lou by offering to build her a spice rack. The reward challenge was a game of nine way dodgeball. Scott took everyone else out and took mystery trip with his guest, Jonny. They spent the night in a haunted hotel, where Jonny got quite a scary show. The next morning at camp, Stone enlisted Lauren and Mary's help on the spice rack. It ended badly when Lauren got sick of him bossing her around. The immunity challenge was a ropes course. Jonny took an early lead and finished strong, winning Immunity. The "Buddy Alliance" planned to vote out Lauren, but the others went with strategy over personal feelings. The two smaller alliances teamed up to vote out Jake.
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8 remain. Tonight, one more will go.

Theme Song

Cardinals . (It's dawn. As usual, Joe and Mary Lou are the first ones up. They cook rice and watch the sunrise) .
Joe: Well, that was certainly a surprise, wasn't it?
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Mary Lou: It sure was! Now I'm feeling a wee bit guilty.
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Joe: Oh, I am too, Mom.
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Mary Lou: (Narrating) Last night's tribal council came as a bit of a surprise to me and Joe. We'd both decided to vote for Jake, just to show him that we disapproved of some of his actions. I guess the other group decided to add their votes to ours and break up the young guys' alliance. I honestly didn't expect Jake to go last night, but - the game has to go on.
. (Stone gets up and walks over to the fire) .
Stone: Morning.
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Mary Lou: Good morning, Edwin.
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Joe: How you doing this morning, Edwin?
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Stone: (Chuckles) Oh, the old bones are aching a bit, but I'll live.
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Mary Lou: You never quite get used to sleeping on the ground, do you?
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Stone: I'm sure missing my bed.
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Joe: Oh, me too. But not near as much as I miss my girls.
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Stone: Your kids?
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Joe: Yeah, my two daughters. (Looks at Mary Lou) Mary Lou's granddaughters.
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Stone: Is that right? What are their names?
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Joe: Sara Jo and Libby.
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Stone: Oh yeah?
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Joe: Thinking of them gives me strength.
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Mary Lou: Do you have kids, Edwin?
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Stone: Oh yeah. My son and daughter. They're wonderful.
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Mary Lou: Oh, but aren't they?
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Stone: (Narrating) I really like Joe and Mary Lou. They're such honest, nice people. Unlike the people I'm currently aligned with. I tell you, I'd much rather play the game with people like that than with people like Lauren.
. (Cut to a shot of the sun rising in the sky. On the other side of camp, Lauren and Mary are happily chattering away) .
Lauren: C'mon. Let me teach you one of my old cheers, Mary.
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Mary: OK, what do I do?
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Lauren: OK, first let's work on the motions. The words will come later.
. (Cut to montage mode as Lauren shows Mary how to sway and gyrate like a floozy) .
Lauren: OK, let's try it.
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Lauren and Mary: (In unison) Stand up with the Cardinal pride, stand up with the Cardinal pride!
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Lauren: Good! Now, remember the arms thrusts on “up” and “pride.”
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Mary: Oh yeah.
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Lauren: Let's try again.
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Lauren and Mary: (In unison) Stand up with the Cardinal pride, stand up with the Cardinal pride!
. (Lauren and Mary continue. Cut to inside the hut, where Jonny, Matt, and Scott sit, looking extremely annoyed) .
Jonny: Cheering.
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Matt: I wish they'd just shut up.
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Scott: Hey, I have an idea. Let's join them.
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Jonny: (Sarcastic) Yeah, great idea.
. (Scott gets up and leaves the hut. He approaches Mary and Lauren and starts into his own cheer, complete with head bobbing and vacant grin) .
Scott: (cheering) Rah, rah, shish koom bah! I'm better than everyone else! Nikka nakka firecracker, I work in a brothel! Yay! Go team!
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Mary: Scott, we were having fun. Why do you have to be so mean all the time?
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Lauren: Yeah, jerk.
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Scott: (cheering) I'm not-a mean! GOoooo team! Yay! Good for us!
. (Mary rolls her eyes and walks off in disgust) .
Lauren: You think you’re pretty clever, don’t you? You’re the only one allowed to have fun around here. Is that it?
. (Lauren turns around and follows Mary. Scott looks slightly guilty. Jonny and Matt approach him) .
Matt: Way to go, man!
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Jonny: (laughing) Oh man! They were ticked!
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Scott: Not now, guys.
. (Scott walks away, leaving Matt and Jonny perplexed. Joe and Mary Lou go for Tree Mail) .
Joe: I’m almost afraid to look.
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Mary Lou: I just hope it’s not another physical one.
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Joe: (reading) Choose a partner
                          And prepare to run
                          The winners will have
                          A lot of fun
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                          The three legged race
                          Was never like this
                          Win this reward
                          And you'll be in pure bliss
It sounds like some kind of three-legged race.
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Mary Lou: Oh dear…

Cardinals . (Joe and Mary Lou show the Tree Mail to everyone else) .
Joe: It sounds like they want us to pair off.
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Stone: OK then. We’ll draw numbers. Um, Jonny, get some paper out of my sketch pad and tear off eight slips of paper. Make four pairs of numbers. You know, two ones, two twos, and so on.
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Jonny: OK.
. (Stone puts the slips into a hat and passes it around) .
Matt: Who’s got two?
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Mary: I do.
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Jonny: Four?
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Joe: Looks like we’re together, Jon.
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Mary Lou: Who has one?
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Stone: I do.
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Lauren: So that means…
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Scott: We’re together.

Lauren: S***!
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(The pairs break off by themselves. Joe and Jonny tie themselves together and start limping around camp) .
Joe: Howdy everybuddy!
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Jonny: How’s it shakin’?
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Mary: You guys don't stand a chance against me and Matt. Right, Matt?
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Matt: Yeah.
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Mary: Let's practice running together.
. (Mary gets a piece of rope and starts to tie her leg to Matt's) .
Mary: Wow, your leg is hairy. You ought to shave it.
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Matt: (Sarcastic) Um, yeah…
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Mary: (Giggling) And then we could put you in a dress and put some make-up on you.
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Matt: (Not amused) I don't think so.
. (Mary Lou and Stone tie themselves together and begin hopping around camp. They get a pretty good rhythm going) .
Stone: Hey, I think we're getting the hang of this.
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Mary Lou: The young people had better watch themselves.
. (Stone and Mary Lou laugh. Scott and Lauren don't bother practicing. They want nothing to do with one another)

Reward Challenge: Third Leg (Not that, sicko)

(Overhead shot of a narrow field. An obstacle course has been set up with two identical, parallel tracks. The Survivors exit the woods and meet Jeff) .
Jeff: OK, for today's reward, we've assembled a good old-fashioned Survivor obstacle course. You'll start off with a long stretch of tires, followed by a section of hurdles of varying heights. Next, you'll come to three wooden walls. Pull yourselves through the holes in the wall, and move on to the rope net. After you traverse it, you'll run a final leg of flat track.
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As I'm sure you guys have guessed, you'll be doing all of this with your legs tied together. Cooperation and coordination are the keys to this challenge.
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For the winning team, a very nice reward: dinner, and a movie. First you'll go to a nice restaurant for a succulent lobster dinner…
. (The Survivors coo in approval) .
Jeff: And then you'll go to a nice theater for your movie, which just happens to be an advanced screening of the second South Park movie.
.. (Scott, Matt, and Lauren seem excited at this, but everyone else groans) ..
Jeff: OK, you guys ready to do this? We'll run the race in three heats. We've randomly selected the order in which you're going to run. Jonny and Joe, you're first against Matt and Mary.
. (The Survivors move into position) .
Jeff: Survivors ready? (Doing the arm thing) Go!
. (The race goes by fairly quickly in montage mode. Jonny and Joe don't really put a whole lot of effort into it, but Matt drags poor Mary along at a frightening pace. Matt and Mary win the race by a wide margin) .
Jeff: Matt and Mary, you're moving on. Next heat is Mary Lou and Stone versus Scott and Lauren.
. (The Survivors move into position) .
Jeff: (Doing the arm thing) Go!
. (Another montage race. Stone and Mary Lou are too slow. Scott and Lauren are bound and determined to win and pull it off easily) .
Jeff: OK, Scott and Lauren, you'll take on Matt and Mary in the final.
. (The Survivors position themselves again) .
Jeff: Survivors ready? (Doing the arm thing) Go!
. (The two teams run towards the tires. Scott and Lauren take an early lead due to their greater agility. They arrive at the tires and expertly step through them, arms interlocked to help with balance. Matt and Mary aren't quite as quick. Mary trips several times, but Matt keeps dragging her along. . Scott and Lauren exit the tires and move on to the hurdles. Grabbing the sides of each hurdle with their free hands, they swing their legs over in unison. They hastily progress through the hurdles. Just as Matt and Mary reach the first one, Scott and Lauren finish and sprint towards the walls. . The hole in the first wall is about waist level. Grabbing the rim of the hole, they swing themselves through. Matt and Mary are about halfway through the hurdles as Scott and Lauren reach the second wall. The hole is eye level in this wall. They jump up and grab the rim, then scramble through the hole and drop roughly on their faces. Matt and Mary finish the hurdles. . Scott and Lauren recover and approach the final wall. This hole in on the bottom of the wall. All they have to do is get down on their bellies and squirm through. Matt drags Mary through the waist level hole in the first wall as Scott and Lauren emerge from their crawl and head for the nets. Scott and Lauren rocket up the net, then slide down the other side. Matt drags Mary through the high hole in the second wall as they roughly land on the other side of the net. As Matt and Mary get down to go under the third wall, Scott and Lauren sprint towards the finish. The cross the finish line just as Matt and Mary get to the rope net) .
Jeff: Scott! Lauren! You just won yourselves dinner and a movie.
. (Scott and Lauren both let out loud whoops, then look at each other and instantly shut up) .
Lauren: (Narrating) Winning this reward is a mixed bag. On the one hand, I'm a huge South Park fan and I get a great dinner. On the other hand, I have to share it with that psycho, Red.
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Scott: (Narrating) I could think of better people to have to go on a date with. But I still think it'll be fun.
. (Jeff puts blindfolds on Scott and Lauren and leads them off. The rest of the Survivors walk back to camp, laughing) .
Jonny: Oh man! Those two are gonna tear each other's eyes out!
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Matt: I almost feel sorry for Scott!
. (Lauren and Scott are led into a dimly lit restaurant. Jeff seats them) .
Jeff: OK, you guys can take your blindfolds off now.
. (Scott and Lauren remove their blindfolds and look around. They're in a hastily constructed restaurant filled with Survivor crew members. A neon sign on the wall says "Survivor Restaurant") .
Lauren: I guess this is supposed to be romantic.
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Scott: I don't care how romantic it is, as long as they feed us.
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Lauren: Hmmph.
. (Jeff brings out two lobsters, two baked potatoes, and a bottle of wine. Scott digs into his food, while Lauren pours herself some wine) .
Lauren: You want any of this? Oh, that's right, you don't drink.
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Scott: (Chewing noisily) Nope.
. (Scott finishes his meal. Lauren still picks at hers) .
Scott: Man, I can't wait to see this movie!
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Lauren: (brightening a bit) Me too. I'm a huge South Park fan.
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Scott: I know! Trey Parker and Matt Stone are geniuses.
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Lauren: (Smiling) I saw Cannibal: the Musical! right before I came out here.
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Scott: You saw Cannibal, too? Oh man, that was too hilarious!
. (Lauren sings a bar out of the movie.   Lauren and Scott both crack up) .
Scott: (Laughing) That was the best part!
. (There's a pause) .
Lauren: You know, I'm kind of glad we won this reward together.
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Scott: Yeah.
. (Jeff returns and blindfolds Scott and Lauren again) ..
Jeff: OK, the theater is just down the street.
. (Jeff walks Scott and Lauren into the next room, then removes their blindfolds) .
Scott: That was quick.
. (Scott and Lauren look around. They're in a hastily constructed theater with only two seats. On the wall is a neon sign that says "Survivor Theater." They both have a seat. The movie starts up. There's a montage of Scott and Lauren laughing and generally enjoying the movie) .
Lauren: (Narrating) I'm really glad I was able to share this evening with Red- Scott. He's a lot of fun.
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Scott: (Narrating) Maybe I misjudged Lauren. She's actually sort of cool.
. (Cut to a shot of the moon. The stars rush by. Pan back down on camp, the next day)
Cardinals . (Jonny and Les Sachs the dog sit in the shade. Jonny looks extremely bored) .
Jonny: (Narrating) I know I should be enjoying all this extra time, but I get so bored out here. Even though I'm out here with my friends, there's only so much we can talk about. I feel like I should be working on something, but there's just not a whole lot to work on out here. I wish one of the reward challenges was an editing program.
. (Jonny mills around camp. Les Sachs follows him around. Jonny spots Stone's sketch pad sitting on a crate. He picks it up) .
Jonny: (Narrating) I guess since I don't have much else to do, I'll draw Les Sachs.
. (Jonny draws a fairly realistic sketch of the dog. Meanwhile, Matt and Mary are fishing at the pond) .
Mary: Are you sure you're doing it right?
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Matt: Yes, I'm doing it right. You gotta be patient.
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Mary: We haven't caught anything all morning.
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Matt: No one's making you stay.
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Mary: Fine.
. (Mary gets up and starts to walk away. A wasp flies at her. She screams and backs away. It dive bombs her and lands on her arm. She starts flailing about and it stings her) .
Mary: (Crying slightly) Get out of here! Matt, a wasp stung me!
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Matt: Aw, quit your whining. It's just a little sting.
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Mary: Arggh. It hurts!
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Matt: Quiet, you're scaring the fish.
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Mary: (Narrating) Thanks for caring, Matt. If you ever break anything, remind me not to call the medics. Jerk.
. (Back at camp, Scott and Lauren return) .
Mary Lou: Welcome back, you guyzers! How was your movie?
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Scott: It was hilarious!
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Lauren: Yeah, better than the first one.
. (Jonny approaches Scott and pulls him off to the side) .
Jonny: So, how was your night with the witch queen?
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Scott: It wasn't bad. We had fun.
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Jonny: You're kidding...
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Scott: No, it was fun.
. (Elsewhere, Lauren talks to Mary, who now sports a bandage on her arm for the wasp sting) ..
Lauren: I never knew Scott was such a fun guy.
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Mary: He's also sort of a jerk sometimes.
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Lauren: Well, he wasn't a jerk last night.
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Mary: (Narrating) If I didn't know better, I'd say Lauren had a little crush on Scott. But that's just silly, isn't it?
. (Across camp, Stone looks for something as Joe watches) .
Stone: Have you seen my sketchpad, Joe?
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Joe: Um, I believe Jonny had it earlier.
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Stone: Well, he should have asked before he took it.
. (Stone spots his pad and picks it up) .
Stone: What is this?
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Joe: Let me see? (Stone hands Joe the pad) Oh, that's good!
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Stone: No it's not! It's terrible! Look at the composition! There's no center of interest. Plus the anatomy on this dog is all wrong.   Look at how he drew this foreleg. If the dog's leg bent like that, I'd be calling a vet. (Chuckles)
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Joe: Well, I may not know art, but I know what I like.
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Stone: Well, I don't care for it, so it's not staying in my pad.
. (Stone tears out the drawing, crumples it up, and tosses it. It lands at Jonny's feet. Jonny glares at Stone) .
Jonny: (Narrating) Who does Stone think he is? (Mocking) Oh, look at the composition on this. There's no center of interest. What an idiot! It was just a sketch!
. (Mary Lou goes for Tree Mail. She picks it up and reads it to herself.) .
Mary Lou: Oh dear…
. (Mary Lou takes the mail back to camp and reads it to everyone) .
Mary Lou: (Reading)    Without it you're cold
                                       And your food's left uncooked
                                       Can you make a flame,
                                       Ya rabble of crooks?
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                                       Whoever's the fastest
                                       Immunity earns
                                       Screw up on this
                                       And you may get burned
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Joe: OK, gang. Looks like we're going to have to start a fire.
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Mary: Great.

Immunity Challenge - Queerdance

(Close-up on a plastic Richard Hatch. Close up on a fuse. Zoom out to show eight wooden towers. The Survivors enter the field, where Jeff is waiting) .
Jeff: First things first, I'll take back the Immunity Talisman.
. (Jonny hands Jeff the talisman) .
Jeff: Immunity's back up for grabs. Well, if there's one thing you guys have learned, it's how important fire is out here. You need it for cooking, purifying water, warmth, and keeping animals at bay. Today, we're going to test how good you are at making fire.
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Each of you has a wooden tower. Approximately four feet off the ground dangles a fuse, attached to our Richard Hatch figures. The first one to create a flame high enough to reach that fuse will ignite the fireworks beneath Richard and cause him to do a little dance.
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You have everything you need to start fire here. There's dry wood to rub together, plenty of dry grass for kindling, and so on. You guys ready for this?
. (The Survivors murmur and move into position) .
Jeff: This is for immunity! Survivors ready? (Doing the arm thing) Go!
. (The Survivors run and gather firewood and grass and run back to their towers. Mary is wheezing heavily when she returns to her tower. She looks quite sick. . Jonny gets to work rubbing his sticks together, but isn't having much luck. Next to him, Mary Lou is doing even worse. She can't rub the sticks together with any speed at all. Next to her, Joe is plugging away and getting a bit of smoke. Mary half-heartedly bangs a couple of sticks together. Scott has little luck. Lauren is going at it with all her might, but can't make a spark. Stone is doing quite well, getting quite a bit of smoke. His face is red from strain. . Mary completely gives up on the fire building. She puts her head between her knees and rocks back and forth. Stone gets a spark from his sticks. He ignites some grass and starts heaping firewood on. Not long after, Joe gets a fire started) .
Jeff: Stone and Joe have fire!
. (The others continue to strain, but have no luck. Stone continues to pile firewood. His flame grows higher. Joe's flame falters a bit. He throws more grass on and it flares up. Stone runs off and gathers more grass. He tosses it on the fire, and it also flares up. He throws on more wood and wipes his brow. . The contest is foregone. Stone's huge flame finally catches the dangling fuse. It hisses, and sparks shoot up towards the Richard Hatch figure. Some fireworks go off beneath it, and it begins spinning in circles) .
Jeff: Stone! Immunity! You're safe from the vote at tribal council. Everyone else has a decision to make.

Cardinals . (Back at Camp, Scott, Jonny, and Matt are gathered in a group huddle) ..
Jonny: Well, I say we get rid of Lauren now.
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Matt: Yeah. I'm about sick of her.
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Scott: I don't know, guys. She's not that bad.
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Jonny: What are you talking about? The girl is a total beeyotch! You said so yourself.
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Scott: Well, that was before I got to know her.
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Matt: Oh man.
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Matt: (Narrating) This is so dumb. Now Scott actually likes Lauren. Man! I want to get rid of her. That girl is so dumb. If she stays around for another three days, I'm gonna be really angry.
. (Elsewhere, Stone meets with Mary Lou and Joe) .
Stone: I'm done with Lauren. I'd like to be in an alliance with you two, because you're the only two people I think deserve to win this.
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Joe: Well, thank you, Edwin.
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Mary Lou: We'd be glad to have you.
. (Mary sits beside the hut clutching her stomach. Lauren approaches her) .
Lauren: You feeling any better?
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Mary: (weakly) I'm still sick from that wasp.
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Lauren: Well, I have some bad news. Mr. Stone's not with us anymore.
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Mary: Great...
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Lauren: This isn't over yet. I think they're going to target one of the guys.
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Mary: (Narrating) Ohh.. I feel awful. And not just because I'm so sick. Lauren wants to vote out one of the guys. I'm not sure I can bring myself to vote out another FBC person. There's only so much back-stabbing I can do.
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Jonny: (Narrating) We're not real sure what's going to happen at Tribal Council. I think we can still take them down if we just vote intelligently. I just hope Scott doesn't wuss out on us.
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Scott: (Narrating) Um… (Scott turns to the camera and screams at the top of his lungs) I needed that.

Tribal Council # 9

(The Survivors enter. Jeff is waiting) .
Jeff: Welcome. We'll now bring in the first member of the jury.
. (Jake enters. He flips off Jonny, then solemnly sits down) .
Jeff: The jury will not be addressed. No comments are to be directed to the jury. The jury will not speak to you. The jury is merely here to gather information that they will use in deciding which of the final two will get the $1 million. As more of you are voted off, you'll become the jury. The power will gradually shift from this side to that side.
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Now, last time you guys were here, I mentioned that we'd have a little surprise for you tonight. Here it is: Starting with Jake, we're instituting something called the Black Vote. Immediately after Jake was voted out, he cast a ballot. That vote will be counted tonight, the same as the rest of your votes. The black vote is only good for the next Tribal Council. If the person receiving the black vote wins immunity, it's wasted. The black vote will not be used in a tie, since the person voted out obviously can't change their vote.
. (The Survivors react to this news) .
Jeff: Lauren, how do you feel about this new addition to the game.
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Lauren: I doesn't really seem fair. I mean, we voted him out. Why should he have any more say in the game?
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Jeff: Yes, why should he? Scott, how was the mood yesterday when you and Lauren returned from your reward.
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Scott: Huh? Um, it was fine.
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Jeff: (Nodding condescendingly) Jonny, do alliances still come into play at this point?
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Jonny: Um.. yeah. Alliances are still important. Um, about this black vote thing…
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Jeff: (Ignoring Jonny) Stone, how important was immunity for you?
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Stone: Um, immunity? Well, it's always good to win. But about this rule change. Can you do that mid-game?
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Jeff: (Ignoring Stone) Mary, you've been sick. Do you feel that that makes you vulnerable at this point in the game?
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Mary: Well, I- I guess so. But-
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Jeff: (Cutting Mary off) It's time to vote. Mary, you're up first.
. (Mary walks up and votes. We don't see it) .
Mary: Um, I guess this will still work. Can, can you do that? I mean, wow.
. (Jonny's next. He votes for Lauren) .
Jonny: This shouldn't come as a shock. Maybe with a little help from Jake, we can make this happen tonight.
. (Joe's next, followed by Mary Lou. We don't see their votes. Matt's next. He votes for Lauren) .
Matt: Why don't you go back to reading the news and leave us alone?
. (Matt slams the vote into the canister and sits down. Stone votes, followed by Lauren. Finally, Scott votes. We don't see it) .
Scott: Sorry.
. (Scott returns) .
Jeff: I'll go tally the votes.
. (Jeff leaves and returns with the canister) .
Jeff: Just a reminder. Once the votes are read, the person will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. First vote:
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Lauren
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Jon
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Lauren
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Johnnie
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Two votes Lauren, two votes Jonny.
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Lauren
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Johnny
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Jonny
.

Black Vote:

Lauren

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That's four votes Jonny, four votes Lauren. And the final vote:
.
..
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Jonny
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I need you to bring me your torch.
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Jonny: Crap!
. (Jonny brings Jeff his torch) .
Jeff: Jonny, the tribe has spoken. (Snuffs his torch) It's time for you to go.
. (Jonny looks back and mouths something to Matt. He walks off) /
Jeff: Well, it looks like the black vote didn't make a difference tonight. We'll see what happens next time. I'll let you guys get back to camp.
/ (The Survivors exit)

Jonny's Final Words: Well, I came out here and I gave it my best shot. Unfortunately, our alliance was outnumbered from the start. I'm really disappointed that Jake's vote didn't help us out, but maybe my vote will make a difference next time. So Scott, Big Matt, I hope you guys make it to the final two. I'll see everyone else on the jury.

Voting Record: Mary: Jonny Jonny: Lauren Joe: Jonny Mary Lou: Jonny Matt: Lauren Stone: Jonny Lauren: Jonny Scott: Lauren

Jake: Lauren

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Extra Feature!!!

Just for fun, I'm putting up an alternate episode 9. It examines what the game would be like if the early bootees like Majel and Carmen were still in the game at this point. Enjoy! . ~ Mumbo